Being a Woman in this day and Age
Personal Reflections on Being a Daughter with a Post-Election Mindset
Maya Angelou wrote,
“The human heart is so delicate and sensitive that it always needs some tangible encouragement to prevent it from faltering in its labor. The human heart is so robust, so tough, that once encouraged, it beats its rhythm with a loud, unswerving insistency.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about Womanhood versus Girlhood lately and how patriarchal ideals have shaped my relationships with men. As a girl, I believed that romance was everything. I often took on the damsel in distress role, waiting for a boy to swoop in and save me. I always felt that desperate need to impress boys and later men because that’s where I thought I could gain validation. Looking back, it’s exhausting to realize how much I allowed myself to be defined by the potential of romance—even when I wasn’t actively seeking it.
As I step into Womanhood, I can’t ignore reality anymore: men are not my protectors. This new reality is that the standards we place on each other, based on our perceptions of what we should do and gain from our interactions, often lead to disappointment. If you grew up in a household with traditional views, you might relate to seeing your dad as a protector. I have always admired my father for his wisdom and support. He was the person I turned to when faced with challenges and offered guidance during tough times. He provided a sense of safety that I cherished. However, it’s hard to reconcile that admiration with the fact that he voted for Trump’s administration twice. It feels painful to acknowledge that he chose to support a system that undermines my right to exist safely in society—whether he realizes it or not.
My deep concern stems from my work with my state's women’s health advocacy centers. It’s not just about whether a woman can carry a pregnancy; it’s about affirming her right to make decisions about her own body and life. This is about making healthcare accessible for everyone, regardless of background or economic status. Women are more than just their physical bodies; they deserve dignity and respect.
With the recent election results, I find myself processing how my healthcare concerns are influenced by those who feel empowered to dictate my worth and role in society. I worry for my loved ones and friends, especially those who are people of color, part of the LGBTQ+ community, or living with disabilities. Why is it so wrong for us to simply exist?
Now that the dust has settled, I’m left with heavy questions about womanhood. What does being a woman in a world that seems determined to undermine us mean? I can’t help but wonder if my value is still tied to how men perceive me in this patriarchal system. I’m concerned for my friends and family and where we all fit into this picture.
It’s tough to process my feelings when family members have voted against my rights. I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t feel responsible for their comfort when they’ve hurt me. My healing journey isn’t reliant on making them feel okay. It’s a balancing act—loving my dad while also grappling with the disappointment and fear I feel. After the election, he tried to cheer things up with board games and sent me a text saying, “I love you,” hugging me to create space for my sadness. But that feeling of betrayal lingers.
On the one hand, I want to empathize with him—a part of me, the daughter chamber of my heart, wants to feel sad about the division between us. On the other hand, I can’t ignore my hurt. His choices feel like a personal blow, especially when he represents a system threatening me. I’m trying to find a way to hold onto love while recognizing the pain. I believe in forgiveness, but I can’t just forget his role in all of this. Forgetting can perpetuate harmful patterns—I refuse to fall into that trap again.
I have realized that addressing the ideologies in our homes is a significant way to create change. I believe in being my advocate, and I can also advocate for my friends and family, as reminiscent of Angela Davis’ quote, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” It all starts with the decision to fight for what you believe in. We need to be the champions of our visions for the world we inhabit, even in small ways. Change begins within our homes—if you want a clean house, pick up the broom.
So here I am, navigating this complicated mix of love and hurt. Each day, I look for ways to foster conversation instead of conflict. I want to contribute to change, and I know it starts with me.
That’s why I gathered resources for organizations and volunteer opportunities and shared them in a linktree, along with educational sources on various topics:
It may not seem like much, but I hope it’s a step in the right direction!